Perks of Being Joyce Donoso

03/14/12

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 16:11:00 -0400

03/14/12

January 14, 2012

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 16:00:00 -0400

Dear friend,

Of course, as promised, here’s my Friday the 13th rendezvous! Are you as thrilled as I am? No? Okay.

Page 13 of 31 — “Ironically, Friday the 13th was quite lucky for me (more on that later). I spent the day with fisherfolks (basically, fishermen and their folks). They were so welcoming and looked like they were very keen to meet us. My partner for that day was Patricia, and we interacted with the Bardeloza family. We were led to the pier (the view was alright, all I saw was water and a few boats here and there), and I’ve got to say, it was quite nice to take a break from the city’s pollution and ruckus. The cool breeze was terrific, the sun’s heat didn’t bother me at all. If I could just stay there, in that moment, wherein for once I felt care-free and light-hearted, I would… But our facilitators brought me back to reality, we were then off to prepare lunch. And by lunch, I meant fiesta! We had heaps of rice and 9 different viands too choose from, what a blessing! Afterwhich, we had rounds of videoke (with very erotic background). The experience was amazing. Even though the fisherfolks weren’t as financially stable as us, they were able to make us feel comfortable and yes, very full. They had simple lives, not pompous, and focused on what was essential. I wish we had more time with the fisherfolks, but I’m afraid I might get too attached… Anyway, after the very meaningful interaction, I went to the book store with Dominique, in hopes of finding a signed copy of ‘The Fault In Our Stars’. And guess what? There was one, holy guacamole! Well, that’s it, my luck on a supposedly unlucky day.”

And in result of the eye-opening interaction, I will be focusing on my academics, so I won’t be able to write to you at all for the next few months, two months tops. I guess that’s your luck for Friday the 13th, an announcement that I will be off your shoulders!

Love always,

Joyce

January 15, 2012

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:09:00 -0500

Dear friend,

The following pages are going to be short. Even I know that you won’t be interested enough to read 9 long-ass paragraphs.

Page 4 of 31 — “Sad truth: Christmas break has officially ended, today marks the resuming of classes. Our school’s HS department begins every year with the Intramurals, and being the unathletic girl that I am, I joined the Tug-of-War team. I ended up with throbbing hands and bruises all over my arms, great just great. We didn’t even win any game. To make myself feel a bit better, I had milk tea (the cashier forgot to register my order, so I got it for free) and deposited my savings from 2011 in my bank account. I felt very, uh, mature afterwards.”

Page 5 of 31 — “Due to my painters, I was able to garner an extra dash of fury and temper, which helped me during our games. We beat 2 out of 3 sections (one of which was last year’s runner up), which was a huge improvement compared to yesterday’s. And oh, the section rivalry has begun, how very typical.”

Page 6 of 31 — “The basketball was intense, really intense. There were a lot of fouls committed and injuries. One of our star players, Patricia, fell (the one she was guarding, who was probably the cause of her accident, was standing, then sat on the floor, pathetically faking an injury). Her ribs were the first ones to hit the ground then her head bounced on the floor. It was horrible to watch, I even teared up. Another injured player of ours, Marie, eventually had to play to replace Patricia (or else we would lose by default). But all’s well that ends well, we won the basketball championship (chess championship too) and Marie won the MVP award.”

Page 7 of 31 — “…And the section rivalry still continues. You see, I tweeted ‘How freaking pathetic, not only did you not apologize, but also acted out an injury. I feel so sorry for you’ (in relation to yesterday’s happenings) and apparently, some bimbo attempted to mock me with an irrelevant argument. Ah, pitiful.”

Page 8 of 31 — “Uneventful, actually. Unless you count attending the mass and eating beef stew as eventful.”

Page 9 of 31 — “I received my periodical exam results in Algebra, Computer, and Biology. My Algebra result was terrifying (I didn’t even reach half of the total score), Computer was unsatisfying, but Biology exceeded my expectations.”

Page 10 of 31 — “I garnered the highest score in Social Science, holy guacamole (it’s been 2 years since I’ve had the highest score, okay)! CA-E and Religion were alright, not the type of results you would be proud of, but quite alright. Ho hum pig’s bum, we discussed the Reproductive Sytem during Biology, it was pretty interesting (not to mention awkward and hilarious). Then during dismissal, I had a talk with Carla, Kyle, Marie, and Mariae. We shared a couple of dirty juicy secrets. And no, I will not tell them to you.”

Page 11 of 31 — “John Green’s new book entitled ‘The Fault In Our Stars’ got released today, oh my giddy gosh!”

Page 12 of 31 — “We watched a debate competition during Speech, and believe me, I was completely in awe. Our school’s representatives were so critical, quick-witted, and absolutely brilliant. I got so inspired to perform better in public speaking, but then I realized that I could never live up to them.”

I will be sending you the letter containing my not-so-unlucky Friday the 13th the day after tomorrow, so check your inbox once in a while.

Love always,

Joyce

01/14/12

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 05:04:00 -0500

01/14/12

January 7, 2012

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 10:06:47 -0500

Dear friend,

Putting Bollocks, Me, Bollocks, Bollocks, & 2012 aside, I’ve come to tell about the conversations I had with my relatives. It was great, really (it’s not everyday that you hear a teenage girl blabbing about how fabulous it is to talk with the oldies). I felt sort of mature around them, and I loved seeing the look on their faces whenever they get all nostalgic.

My dad left today for Australia and it’s their (mom and dad’s) anniversary tomorrow. They didn’t have time to shag and/or have a terrific date because my dad’s flight was at 4 PM so they ended up having a quick lunch at Shakey’s (quite romantic, right? NOT). But eventually my dad was able to make it up to my mom by giving her a watch that was exactly like the one he gave her 18 years ago, during their first anniversary (to be honest, I want a relationship like theirs, you know, the high school sweetheart kind of relationship).

Next in line of the blab train’s my grandparents’ oh so dramatic love story (not really). You see, my grandma’s family status was above middle-class while my grandpa’s was below it. When my grandpa courted my grandma, he had ridiculously curly hair (it was naturally curly, so I don’t blame him for his sad hairstyle), so my grandma’s dad assumed that he was a homosexual. My grandma’s brother, on the other hand, assumed that he was the wife-batterer kind of bloke. Well, he proved them wrong! Never did my grandpa even flick his fingers (maybe his trouser snake but gosh, I don’t want to picture that) at grandma and I think he’s homophobic… So back to the story, they started off as lower than below middle-class, then with fervor and hope, they became big-shots (not really dramatic as I told you since my grandma didn’t bother to tell me the hardships they went through, that would’ve been interesting).

I would love to go on and on but I am getting pretty slumberous (I feel like a smart-ass whenever I use this) and I’m sure you’re not that keen on me anyway.

Love always,

Joyce

January 4, 2012

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 05:15:07 -0500

Dear friend,

I’m going to say it to you straight, I’ll push through with Book of Me & 2012 whether you like it or not (you were neither enthusiastic nor passive about it anyway).

Page 2 of 31 — “I don’t think it’s healthy for a growing girl to be still awake at 7:30 AM (oh my gosh, who am I even kidding? I’m making myself laugh, I’m absolutely full of hilariosity)… Okay, obviously I’ve been reading Confessions of Georgia Nicolson too much. I wonder what it’s like to be in her shoes, I would really like to have a real boy friend (yes, boy friend, like Dave the Laugh, who is er, a laugh, not boyfriend) whom I can snog every once in a while whenever I get snog withdrawal… Anyway, I accidentally fell asleep listening to Brighten (quite a fab fab fabbity fab band, if I must say) and woke up at around 12 PM for no apparent reason at all. Actually, I think it was fate because after a few notifications here and there, I ended up in a car with some of my mates and before you know it, we were on our way to Shangri-La mall (we just ate at Wendy’s and around the snack bar with Cedric, a boy with freakishly lady-like hands).”

Page 3 of 31 — “Most boring day ever. And believe me when I say ever. I slept early the day before and due to my body clock’s difficulty to adapt, I woke up at 4 AM. I think 2 or 3 womanly souls possessed me because I managed to cook myself scrambled eggs, prepare instant noodles, and wash the dishes… Ah, women. After satisfying my manly appetite, I fell asleep (because that’s what men do, right? sleep, eat, fart, eat, fart, fart, sleep) and woke up at 7 PM. Amazing, really, I skipped lunch without disturbing my very needy tummy.”

And there you have it! Not that bad, I even entertained myself. I should probably replace Book of Me & 2012 with Bollocks, Me, Bollocks, Bollocks, & 2012. I think you would agree.

Love always,

Joyce

01/02/12

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 09:01:49 -0500

01/02/12

January 2, 2012

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 13:18:00 -0500

Dear friend,

I’m trying to make a paragraph for each day of the year, for my own amusement to create a Book of Me & 2012. Here’s…

Chapter 1:

Page 1 of 31 — “An earthquake just struck Japan and I’m here, still waiting for something out of the ordinary to happen to me. Quite selfish, I know. You shouldn’t be expecting much from a fourteen-year-old girl. I’m just minding my own business, reading “It’s OK, I’m Wearing Really Big Knickers!” by Louise Rennison, devouring a large serving of fries from McDonald’s, and trying to cope with the drunk adults around me talking about their sex lives. My life’s been uneventful, uninteresting even. And the new year’s making things neither better nor worse. I’m not assuming for any changes to happen quickly, I just hope that the changes won’t catch me off guard.”

What do you think, should I pursue this or do something else unproductive?

Love always,

Joyce

December 31, 2011

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 04:26:00 -0500

Dear friend,

I have been reading non-stop these days, which explains the lack of letters. I actually started the end of 2011 by listing the books I have read and the books I plan to read (I ended up sleeping at 4 AM, I think OCD took over me). When I woke up, around 3 PM, I joined my family watch HBO (I did not enjoy it that much since my parents kept on asking a lot of questions).

Anyway, like everybody else, I made a list of New Year’s resolutions (and yes, unlike 99.9% of the world’s population, I am going to fulfill them all). Presenting, 5 commandments for 2012: 1. Thou shall not have mediocre grades (specifications: always get at least 70% of the total score) 2. Thou shall only have a monthly gimmick (result: more money for books, clothes, and concerts; less money for unnecessary, pricey, fatty food and movie tickets) 3. Thou shall read at least 2 books a month (to take my mind off stress) 4. Thou shall exercise 30 minutes a day and learn an uncommon radical sport (burn off at least 10 pounds at the end of the year) 5. Thou shall run a marathon (in relation to commandment no. 4 and to have a feeling of accomplishment)

I know that I could pull those off. They are my priorities for the coming year (grades, weight, money and stress management) and I think even you know that it is all for the best. I hope that you will support me in doing all of those, I want to make 2012 my year. And by the way, thanks for putting up with my shenanigans for the past months!

Love always,

Joyce

12/23/11

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 07:36:36 -0500

12/23/11

December 23, 2011

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 07:33:00 -0500

Dear friend,

Remember when I wrote you a letter on the 1st of December, stating that I can’t feel the Christmas spirit? Well, I still can’t feel it and we’re only less than 36 hours away from the actual Christmas day. On the irrelevant note, I’ve been having a grand week!

Monday

I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but I’m a class officer. And as an officer, I’m obligated to join my school’s environmental programs. Being the irresponsible and lazy kid that I am, I ditched all of my school’s environmental programs.

The consequence? I had to go to school in the middle of the Christmas break to pack relief goods. It wasn’t that hard, I only stacked canned foods and even got a one-hour break. After going through that, we, Dominique and I, ate at McDonald’s, went home to freshen up, then went to Bonifacio Global City… Well, that’s what we planned.

What really happened? After freshening up, we ate at Burger King, then headed to Bonifacio Global City, and spent the rest of the night crashing a doctors’ Christmas party ‘cause we had to. I got home at around 12 midnight and to my surprise, I was earlier than my parents!

Tuesday

I caught some well-deserved R&R.

Wednesday

I woke up at around 10:30 AM to prepare my things for today’s adventures. At around 12 noon (we planned on meeting at 11:30 AM but I was terribly late ‘cause my parents were going frantic ‘cause they discovered my closet’s over-flowing unnecessary expensive clothes) we were on our way to Nicole’s (actually, Nicole’s dead uncle’s) condo to have a movie marathon, go swimming, and maybe even go to a mall after all that… Well, that’s what we planned.

What really happened? We ate a bunch of pizza, spaghetti, and chicken from Shakey’s while watching a chick flick. In the middle of the flick, one of my classmates, Angel, had to do some business which resulted to the condo ending up smelling like crap. So, the movie marathon didn’t push through due to said disturbance. We all thought, “Hey, why not go swimming instead of keeping ourselves locked in a smelly condo?” and we did. But little did we know that the pool was freezing cold! After a few hours, some of us headed back to the condo to freshen up. Me, Nicole, Mae, and Kat stayed put for some night swimming. And oh my gosh, thanks to my hottie radar and the hottie’s dad, we got a hottie friend. We kept on staring and giggling whenever he would go inside the pool (whatever, blame our ovaries) and we finally got the chance to meet him on our way to the elevator (best three minutes of my life, I swear), the hottie’s dad introduced the hottie and that was when I noticed his raven black hair, striking blue eyes, and pale white skin, and his name was, uh, Bambam. Heck, his name didn’t stop me from staring at his hipbones… Okay, enough of that, after much squealing and popcorn eating, we went to Starbucks and I’ve finally processed that the mall-crawl was a no-go too. After eating the first proper meal of the day at Nicole’s, I headed straight to bed.

Thursday

Here’s the thing, whenever I sleepover at a friend’s house, I always wake up early, and Nicole’s wasn’t an exception. We had ham (which is like thicker and wider bacon), bread with cream cheese, and taho for lunch. After freshening up and waiting for Mae (along with her aunt and cousins), we went to Eastwood… Well, that’s what we planned.

Okay, just kidding, we didn’t plan anything, but truth be told, we did go to Eastwood! But little did we know that Pancake House and Cravings (their cake-all-you can is such a rip-off) had P40 service charge, which is bollocks since their service crew didn’t meet my expectations at all! The weird thing is, after eating at such pricey restaurants, corned beef and McDonald’s fries were the only ones that satisfied my needy stomach.

Friday

Isn’t it ironic that out of all the days of the week, I won’t be going out on a Friday (which is well, today)? And, as the usual, I will be spending the rest of the day catching some R&R.

And to end this letter, merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you!

Love always,

Joyce

December 16, 2011

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 07:29:00 -0500

Dear friend,

My day has been absolutely amazing! Well, it actually started out as boring, with the usual, a Thanksgiving mass. But the high school department definitely made up for it, uh, at least the faculty performance did. After which, we had our class bonding, we played 7-up. At first it was pretty funny but then it got, uhm, how do I say this nicely, oh, not funny. From the start you would’ve noticed that most of us weren’t even interested at all. Like they were obligated to participate in the game, which was sort of rude because it somehow seems like they weren’t really interested in joining the class whatsoever. Does class bonding ring a bell to anyone? Anyway, next to that was the dance showdown, it was hi-la-ri-ous! It’s not everyday you see two girls wearing mismatched high-heeled shoes splitting! Last but not the least, we played Mother Hen on the lawn. We were quite surprised to find out that our co-adviser had the ability to run that fast (excessive adipose tissues are quite deceiving if you know what I mean). After hours of practice, we were finally ready to perform for our school’s Songfest! And guess what? WE WON, OH MY GOSH! VICTORY NEVER FELT THIS GOOD, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS. NATURE IS ONCE AGAIN BALANCED!

And to make my day completely fabulous, my dad came home today (he’s an over-seas worker)! It has been almost 5 months since I’ve seen him, and the first thing I told him was, “Happy Birthday… Yuck, your breath smells bad.” Sure, it’s not the sweetest thing to tell your dad on his birthday, but I didn’t know how to react, okay! I think I just got used to him being not around. I don’t shed a tear at all when he leaves, because I’m already contented with the fact that he’ll come back home soon… Moving on, my dad definitely gives me the best gifts! This year, he bought me an iTouch 4G with a $20 iTunes gift card and the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series, which is a huge deal since it’s composed of 10 UK books! I couldn’t ask for a another dad, mine’s the greatest man I’ve ever known. And before this letter gets too sentimental, I hope you’re getting what you’ve been wishing for this Christmas, too!

Love always,

Joyce

12/13/11

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:45:00 -0500

12/13/11

December 13, 2011

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:38:00 -0500

Dear friend,

I just took my TLE, Religion, and Social Studies third quarterly exams… I know this isn’t the most interesting thing to talk about, especially after almost 2 weeks of not writing to you, but whatever, you have to put up with this for now. Uh, excuse my cranky behavior, I’m not exactly in a good mood since I think I just went through hell. Actually, hell sounds a lot better than what I just went through.

Okay, fine, I’m just exaggerating. But I just can’t get over it, okay! One of the worst feelings ever is regret, you’re probably familiar with it, heck, everybody is. Well, I really regret not studying hard enough to answer the said exams confidently! I think 30% of each exam just went down the drain. Meh, I’m not assuming or anything, but maybe, just maybe, if I did study hard enough, I would’ve ended up garnering the 3rd to the highest score (because heck, who am I kidding, the only way for me to reach the highest score would be through sorcery). So yeah, in addition, I regret slacking off, not taking notes, not vigorously reading my books and hand-outs, and assuming that today’s exams would be a walk in the meadow. I pretty much regret everything I did for the past 24 hours.

It’s not like I can do anything about it, as if I could give the Doctor (reference: Doctor Who) a call to go back in time… Come to think of it, if I could, I won’t. I don’t know, it just feels like cheating the laws of life. Maybe, I deserve this. Maybe, it’s the Big Man telling me to pull myself together and actually do something to not end up with these what ifs. Maybe, I’m talking too much.

Love always,

Joyce

December 1, 2011

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:36:00 -0500

Dear friend,

It’s that time of the year again; wherein the kids are in their best behaviors, trying to make it into Santa’s nice list, the students are anxious to break free from school, and the adults are eager to get together with their families.

Well, I can’t feel the Christmas spirit. It’s probably because of the horrible way my December 2011 started —scratch that, it is because of the horrible way my December 2011 started!

1. Our inconsiderate teachers just bombarded us with quizzes and projects (just so you know, it’s now 4:00 am and I haven’t studied for Biology and CA-F), 2. A couple of friends of mine and their friends (you read that right, their friends) did this Secret Santa thing, just like the one in Perks of Being a Wallflower. After which, my friends began forcing me to say sorry to Maria. Oh, I never told you about the non-mutual fight we had because again, it is non-mutual. It was, at least for me, not a big deal. To let you catch up, it was because of the first letter I wrote you, which she read it a month after I wrote it, wherein, in case you’ve forgotten, I told you that I was not interested in her lover’s yearbook and I called myself cool, which is still pretty humorous. Going back to today’s happenings, I was reluctant to say sorry. If you were me, wouldn’t you also think that a sorry not meant (because I still don’t know what I did wrong) is worse than not saying sorry at all? Moving on… 3. My mom made us commute. The worst part of this was we had to commute just right after a heavy rain! My sister and I were almost suffocated by the exhausted smoke and we had to dash in the filthy, disgusting, bacteria-filled flood because we had no other option. I fugging hated every moment of it. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. Oh, I forgot to mention, HATED IT.

The only thing I’m thankful for today was probably the heart-to-heart talk I had with my mom. You see, my brother practically bawled his eyes out, crying because his girlfriend broke up with him. Mom got deeply concerned so after comforting my brother, she went to talk to me about relationships, which was one of the most hilarious talks I had with her. We mostly talked about her relationship with dad, how they got together (they were high school classmates and eventually became college sweethearts), and the time wherein she planned to study medicine, but ended up studying dentistry because she was too pre-occupied with us, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to cope with the stress the field of medicine would give her. So I realized, that no matter how bad your day may go, you would always be able to find comfort in the arms of your mother, how cliche it may sound. Forgive me for the sudden sappiness, you’ll get used to it.

Love always,

Joyce

11/25/11

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 04:39:00 -0500

11/25/11

November 25, 2011

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 11:45:00 -0500

Dear friend,

This high school life is draining me, I just took a 6-hour power nap (longest nap I’ve had all week) but for some matter I’m still tired. I can’t believe I have to put up with this for 2 more years, cruel fate!

12:45 AM

I have to study for 2 short quizzes, namely Biology and Social Science, do a book cover for CA-E, and do the homework on factoring for Alge-fugging-bra.

2:30 AM

I’m done with the book cover for CA-E, I did my signature design (yes, I have a self-proclaimed signature design) AKA the splattered paint.

3:00 AM

I don’t quite understand factoring so I decided to not finish the Alge-fugging-bra homework. I’ll copy someone else’s work instead. On the irrelevant note, it’s the time of the devil! I actually am scared and I refuse to look at the mirror.

3:45 AM

“It’s a quarter after 3, I’m so awake and I need food now!” Gosh, why am I even procrastinating, I only have 2 hours to study!

5:00 AM

I’m done with Social Science and I’m half-way through Biology. So proud of myself, makes me want to cry tears of Joyce (pun)!

Now you know how tiring my school life has been, so forgive me if I haven’t written to you lately. Wish me luck on my short quizzes tomorrow, I really have to work on my class standing! I really think I have a shot at this Outstanding Student shiznit. Uh oh, my mom’s starting to wake up, I have to go.

Love always,

Joyce

November 17, 2011

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:22:00 -0500

Dear friend,

Guess what time is it? 2:15 am! I slept at around 4:30 PM yesterday and woke up at 11 PM, so I guess that explains it. I don’t plan on sleeping because 1. I have to be tired for me to sleep early for the Outbound the next day and 2. I have to study for a crap load of subjects.

The other day, it was the distribution of report cards, and I must say, I’m quite proud of my grades. They ranged from 82 to 89; a few more improvements and suck-ups and I would be one of the Outstanding Students! I’ve been waiting for almost three years to be one of them, to see my parents be proud of me, and to walk on the stage. It’s been a frustration of mine to excel once more in academics, fulfill the expectations my parents set upon me, and prove myself to the people who belittled my capabilities. Maybe this is only my left brain speaking, but hey, at least I’m making sense now.

Love always,

Joyce

10/15/11

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 11:21:00 -0500

10/15/11

November 11, 2011

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 07:07:00 -0500

Dear friend,

I guess you’re aware that today’s some sort of no ordinary Friday. But it isn’t, well, for me at least. Today has been uneventful and absolutely tiring, I feel like we spent half of the time in school doing nothing but stand and squirm. To tell you the truth, I spent the other half waiting for something to happen, expecting to witness something fantastic, trying to see if this pathetic fad isn’t so pathetic after all. You know what’s funny? That a series of numbers could actually turn a person into a hopeful glob of wishful thinking.

Come to think of it, this fad isn’t so bad after all, people these days are damn suicidal machines, a little bit of hope will probably go a long way. Wow, this letter is making me sound kind of dumb, what is up with my vocabulary? I have to work on that.

Love always,

Joyce